September 6: Respect A Love Language

 Respect A Love Language

Theme: Respect and Honor in Marriage

Scripture Focus:
"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
Ephesians 5:33 (KJV)

Respect A Vital Language of Love
One of the main issues that cause the breakdown of many marriages is a lack of respect.
But what exactly is respect?
How is it shown in marriage?
Is it a one way street or a mutual exchange?

Respect is the deep regard for another’s feelings, needs, and God given dignity.
In marriage, respect must be mutual, a constant giving and receiving, not forced, but freely offered out of love and reverence for Christ.

A Personal Lesson Learned
I vividly recall an experience in my own marriage when I thought it necessary to speak my mind and stand up for my rights.
In the process of feeling "liberated" with my lips, my husband calmly said to me,
"A man does not marry his mother."

Those words stung like a bee.
I paused, reflected, and the weight of what he said sank in deeply. In my quest to "speak up" and assert myself, I had crossed the line into disrespect, treating him as a subordinate, not a partner.

Sometimes, in our eagerness to be heard, we fail to guard our mouths and injure our spouse’s spirit. Respect is not about silence or passivity, it is about wisdom and grace in how we speak and act.

Ways We Can Disrespect Without Realizing It
Another way wives (and husbands too) unintentionally show disrespect is by spreading their spouse’s weaknesses to others, especially within his close circle of friends or family. This act breaks trust, wounds pride, and can cause deep emotional damage that may take years to heal.

"The heart of the wife should be the graveyard for her husband's faults."
Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 177

Instead of exposing weaknesses, a godly wife is called to protect her husband's dignity, cover his vulnerabilities, and pray over his growth.

Today, we also face new challenges.
Many wives earn more than their spouses.
While financial blessings are from God, how we handle these realities matters.
Disrespect can easily creep in if success is not approached with humility and Christlikeness.

In our home, my husband is the financial manager of the family, and he does a wonderful job. We don’t treat money as “mine” and “yours,” it is ours. Respect is not about who earns more; it’s about trust, teamwork, and honoring each other's God given roles and contributions.

Respect and Love Twin Pillars of Marriage
Respect should be reciprocal, both given and received.
It should be natural, not forced.
It should flow out of a heart surrendered to God, not out of fear or duty.

The Bible gives a clear model:

Husbands are called to love their wives selflessly.

Wives are called to respect their husbands faithfully.

Love and respect are the twin pillars that uphold a Christ centered marriage. When we respect and honor each other, we create a space where love flourishes, trust grows, and God is glorified.

Reflection Questions:

• How am I demonstrating respect in my marriage today?
• Have I allowed frustration to cause me to speak dishonorably?
• How can I better guard my spouse’s dignity in public and private?

Closing Prayer
Lord, teach me the true meaning of respect.
Help me to honor my spouse in my words, my actions, and my attitudes.
Forgive me for times when my words have wounded rather than healed.
Fill my heart with wisdom, patience, and grace.
Let love and respect flow naturally in our home, so that our marriage may reflect Your love and bring glory to Your name.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.