October 5: Good Father, Bad Husband?

Good Father, Bad Husband?

Scripture Reading: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." – Ephesians 5:25

By Sharon Campbell Danvers |
Daughters Arise Ministries

In a recent Sabbath School class, a sister shared that she often tells her children: “Your dad is a good father but a bad husband.” That statement struck me. Can the two really be separated? Can a man be successful in raising his children yet fail in loving his wife well? Sadly, many families live in this tension.

Being a good father means providing, protecting, and guiding children. But being a good husband means cherishing, honoring, and nurturing the covenant relationship with one’s spouse. When the second role is neglected, the first eventually suffers. Children may receive care, but they also observe the lack of love, respect, or unity between their parents. And that silent lesson shapes them more than words ever could.

The Bible makes it clear that marriage is not just about individual roles but about covenant love. Paul calls husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25). Christ does not separate His role as Shepherd from His role as Bridegroom. He is faithful to both. Likewise, a man cannot fulfill his calling as a godly father while neglecting his calling as a godly husband.

So many of our marriages are fractured because we excel in one area while excusing weakness in another. We say, “I’m a good provider,” but ignore emotional connection. We say, “I spend time with the kids,” but leave our spouse starved of affection. Yet, God designed marriage and family to complement each other. A strong marriage creates the foundation for firm parenting.

Reflection:

• Am I separating my roles in my home?
• Have I invested more in parenting than in nurturing my marriage?
• What would my children say they observe about love and respect between their parents?

Prayer:

Lord, help us to be whole in our relationships. Teach us not only to be good fathers or mothers but also good husbands and wives. May our homes reflect the covenant love of Christ and His church, where sacrifice, honor, and faithfulness abound. Heal the fractures in our marriages so our children may grow in the security of love that flows from You. Amen.