November 3:Walking Through Grief: When Losses Come in Waves

 

Walking Through Grief: When Losses Come in Waves

Scripture:

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. — Revelation 21:4 (NIV)

Anonymous, Bodden Town SDA

The first blow came with my cousin’s passing. Despite his years of hospitalization, the finality of death still struck hard. As our family was still navigating this loss, processing years of watching him struggle, followed by his sudden departure, another wave hit. My uncle, who had been battling chronic illness, faced complications requiring leg amputation. The hope of recovery after surgery quickly turned to grief as he, too, slipped away from us. Before we could catch our breath, before the ground could feel solid beneath our feet again, we lost a dear friend and church sister to a brief illness.

Three losses, each unique in its circumstances, yet connected by their timing. Each death brought its own kind of pain – the end of my cousin’s long struggle, my uncle’s battle with chronic illness ending so soon after surgery, and the shocking swiftness of losing a close friend and sister in Christ. Years of preparing our hearts for some losses didn’t make them easier, while the suddenness of others left us reeling.

Society often expects us to “be strong” in grief, especially as Christians. We hear well-meaning phrases like “they’re in a better place” or “at least they’re not suffering anymore.” While meant to comfort, these words can make us feel guilty for our very real, very human emotions of sadness, anger, and confusion. I learned that being strong doesn’t mean denying these feelings – sometimes being strong means allowing ourselves to be weak.

The waves of grief came differently for each loss. For my cousin, it was processing years of watching him struggle, mixed with relief that his suffering had ended and guilt for feeling that relief. With my uncle, it was the shock of losing him so soon after surgery, when we’d been holding onto hope for recovery. And our church sister’s sudden passing reminded us how quickly life can change, leaving us grappling with the fragility of life itself.

For those walking through multiple losses:

1. Take time to grieve each loss individually – each relationship was unique and deserves its own space for mourning.

2. Offer specific, practical help – grief is exhausting, and even simple tasks can feel overwhelming.

3. Don’t compare grief – a long-anticipated loss isn’t “easier” than a sudden one; they’re simply different.

4. Seek support when needed – grief counseling isn’t a sign of weak faith but of wise self-care.

To the church family supporting those in grief:

1. Recognize that different types of loss require different kinds of support.

2. Be present and willing to listen more than you speak.

3. Remember that previous losses may resurface when new ones occur.

4. Create space for both grieving and remembering.

Through this valley, I’ve learned that effective grieving isn’t about “getting over” our losses – it’s about learning to carry them differently. Some losses we see coming, through years of illness and struggle; others blindside us with their suddenness. Each requires its own path through grief, its own time for processing, its own space for healing.

Today, I understand that grief and faith can coexist. That missing our loved ones deeply doesn’t mean we don’t trust God’s plan. That healing doesn’t mean forgetting, and that joy can eventually live alongside sadness. This journey has taught me that God’s comfort often comes through the people He places in our lives – through friends who listen without trying to fix, through counselors who help us process our pain, and through fellow grievers who understand the path we’re walking.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that there’s no “right way” to grieve as a Christian. Some days we’re the picture of faith; other days, we’re crying out like Job. Both are sacred, both are human, and both are held in the gentle hands of a God who is intimately acquainted with grief Himself.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for being near to the brokenhearted and for walking beside us through every wave of grief. When the losses pile high and the pain feels unending, remind us that You see every tear and hold every sorrow. Help us to find comfort in Your promises, strength in Your presence, and hope in the knowledge that one day, You will wipe away every tear. Teach us to carry our grief with grace and to extend Your compassion to others walking the same path.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.