March 9 -The Pain Behind the Smile

 Trusting God through heartbreak and loss

Tania Jackson
Kings SDA Church

Scripture: "Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness" (Proverbs 14:13).

Looks can be deceiving. A few days ago, I went shopping and saw a nice bag of apples at an economical price. However, on the shelf next to it were some tempting golden apples that looked fresh, crunchy, sweet, delicious, and mouthwatering. The temptation for the big, juicy apple was so intense that it drove me to choose less for more. When I got home, I guarded my prized possession with all the security I could manage because I did not plan to share. To my utter dismay and disappointment, it was only a façade. This deception stimulated my thinking—it reminded me of someone I know. She looked bright and beautiful, but like the apple, she was rotten inside. She was always smiling, never looking sad—she was Saphira.

Emotions can be very temperamental—we can quickly go from happy to sad or from sad to happy. Sometimes what we see on the outside is not an indication of what is on the inside. King Solomon paints a vivid picture of our emotions: "Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness" (Proverbs 14:13).

Saphira grew up with a single mother and three siblings, but life was no bed of roses for her. Unlike her siblings, she did not know her father. This was torture for her. Like a deer panting after water, her soul longed for a man to call daddy, father, papa. She was the black sheep, suffering physical, emotional, and mental abuse. Yet, she carried the smile of the Mona Lisa. Her smile was a mask for her pain during the day, but at night, when she was alone, she cried herself to sleep. She wished she could be like her siblings—running to meet their father when he arrived home, jumping on his back, going to the beach, and chasing the ice cream truck. Little Saphira was not only fatherless but lonely in a house full of people. Her only desire was to become of age so she could venture out on her own. Oh, how she wished she had a father like her siblings! To make matters worse, her siblings taunted and called her names, daily rubbing salt in her wounds, and all she did was "smile and grin."

At the age of eighteen, she decided to become a prodigal. This new journey was fraught with challenges, yet she continued to play the part of the Mona Lisa, putting on that smile to fool the crowd. Saphira was resolute that when she became a wife and mother, she would break the generational cycle of single parenthood. She was adamant that her children must know their father. However, after she got married and started having children, the reality of her mother’s situation became crystal clear. It was like the piglet asking its mother, "Mom, why is your mouth so long?" and the mother responding, "You are growing, and you will soon find out."

She now understood why she had felt unloved, abused, and rejected. She was trapped in the same cycle. She longed to reconcile with her mother, but at twenty-two, death swept her mother away to a place where there was no light. She continued to smile, but the pain of not knowing her father and now losing her mother was unbearable. For years, she carried this baggage. Although she was a member of a Baptist church, the weight was so heavy that she could not socialize. She isolated herself, never forming bonds with church members. She did not know God; she was merely going through the motions.

Upon moving to the Cayman Islands, she met her second and current husband. He showed her love. He made her feel like she belonged. He helped her start a new chapter in her life. Better yet, her friend Stef introduced her to the Seventh-day Adventist message, and she accepted it. Her life took a turn for the better. She met Jesus. However, she continued to mask her pain with her smile. Yet, as she opened up to new friendships and became involved in the church, she realized that gradually, the weight was being lifted.

Today, I want you to know that although sorrow and weeping may endure for a time, eventually, joy and comfort will follow. David reminds us, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5). Yes, friends, Jesus makes all the difference in our lives. Jesus makes all things new. The Scripture declares, "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation" (2 Corinthians 5:17). God lifts us from the degradation of sin and makes something beautiful out of our lives when we walk in His counsel.

Our Heavenly Father is never unmindful of those whom sorrow has touched. "The trials of life are God’s workmen, to remove the impurities and roughness from our character. Their hewing, squaring, and chiseling, their burnishing and polishing, is a painful process; it is hard to be pressed down to the grinding wheel. But the stone is brought forth prepared to fill its place in the heavenly temple" (Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, p. 11).

May you find peace in knowing that through Christ, all things are made new.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with humble hearts, acknowledging that behind many smiles, there is hidden sorrow. Lord, You see beyond our facades and understand the burdens we carry. We thank You for being a God of restoration and healing, lifting the weight of our past and giving us hope for the future. Just as You brought transformation to Saphira’s life, we ask that You work in our hearts, replacing pain with joy and despair with peace. May we find comfort in Your presence and strength in Your promises. Help us to trust that joy will come in the morning. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.