October 2: Living with a Parent with Dementia

 Living with a Parent with Dementia

By Del Edwards

Scripture Meditation

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

— Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)

Having a parent with Alzheimer’s dementia has been life-changing. I now find myself parenting my father. But I am grateful that God has given me a spirit of patience which is essential in circumstances like mine. He provided one of my sisters with a position counseling caregivers of persons with Alzheimer’s disease. Her knowledge has helped us prepare emotionally and financially for the future. God is so good.

The best advice I can give to someone walking a similar path is this: treat every encounter with your loved one as if it were both the first and the last time. At first, before I understood the disease, I often felt angry. I thought my father was nagging me about things I had already addressed, not realizing he truly didn’t remember ever asking. What was frustrating to me was a first-time concern to him.

Through prayer and guidance, I discovered a set of “rules for living with dementia” that transformed our relationship. These principles remind me to agree instead of argue, reassure instead of lecture, and encourage instead of condescend. They help me to show the same patience and love that Christ shows toward me.

Support for caregivers doesn’t always have to be grand. Sometimes, simply offering to help—even if the offer is not accepted—provides strength. And if you ever do step in to help, please follow these gentle rules, so that the experience is positive for both caregiver and loved one.

In the end, even if the person with dementia does not remember how you treated them, you will remember, and God—who sees it all—will reward you.

Prayer

“Lord, give me Your heart of compassion and patience as I walk this journey. Help me to see my loved one through Your eyes, with tenderness and grace. Remind me that even when memories fade, love remains. Strengthen every caregiver who feels weary, and let Your promise stand true: ‘Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up’ (Galatians 6:9). In Jesus’ name, Amen.”