October 28: Prodigal Teenager

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 Scripture:

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.— Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

 

Anonymous, Bodden Town SDA

One of the hardest experiences in the world for me was watching my beautiful, innocent child who I had raised to love God transform into a stranger — an emotionally distant teenager who was engaging in behaviours that were completely different from the values that I taught her. This transformation did not happen immediately but gradually I realised that I no longer knew my child and no longer knew what she was capable of doing. For me, this realization came when I started to see through the lies that my child was telling me. Over and over, I would learn of some deceitful activity. And no matter what my spouse and I did, nothing seemed to make a difference. My child seemed to be bent on following the path that I knew would lead to destruction.

My feelings?

  1. Guilt: What did I do wrong? Perhaps I should have done this or should not have done that . . .

  2. Blame: What did my spouse do wrong? I am sure that it was . . .

  3. Fear: Suppose my child dies while engaging in those behaviours? Suppose he/she never returns to God?

  4. Shame: I hope no one knows what my child is doing!

  5. Sadness and despair: Why??!!!

I could not have made it through that period of my life without God’s help. God’s Word helped me to realise that I was living in a world of sin and that my child was responsible for the decisions that she made. God’s Word helped me to realise that He expected me to continue to love my child no matter how much I was hurt by her actions. And He gave me the ability to do so. Over time, I realized that although the situation was challenging, He was still working for my child’s good.

If you are going through a situation in which you are watching or have watched your child turn away from God:

  1. Cry out to God when you are overwhelmed and trust His love and compassion for you.

  2. Trust that God loves your child and will do everything in His power (except forcing him/her) to draw your child back to Him.

  3. Find a friend or a small group of friends that you trust, with whom you can share what’s happening with your child.

  4. Avoid blaming your spouse for the changes in your child. No one activity leads a child to turn away from God. Blaming does not bring about change; it only causes marital discord.

  5. Pray with your spouse or trusted friends about your child’s behaviour. In prayer, ask God to direct your steps and to fill you with love for your child.

  6. Seek help from a professional counsellor, preferably a Christian counsellor.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for loving our children even when they wander far from You. When our hearts break and our faith feels weak, remind us that You are still working in unseen ways. Give us patience to wait on Your timing, strength to keep loving without condition, and peace that comes from trusting You completely. Draw our prodigal children back into Your arms, and help us to rest in Your promises.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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