February 21: Guarding Our Words, Guarding Our Marriage

Guarding Our Words, Guarding Our Marriage

There were moments in heated disagreements when I used to say,
“You never…”
or
“You always…”

Those phrases felt justified in the moment.

Sharon Campbell-Danvers

But they were loaded.

“You never” erases every good effort.
“You always” exaggerates every mistake.

Those words do not resolve conflict. They inflame it. They move a discussion from one situation to an attack on character.

In the heat of emotion, those statements can:

• Trigger defensiveness
• Shut down communication
• Create distance instead of understanding
• Turn a moment into a pattern

And that is not what love does.

The Scripture says:

“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”  Peter 4:8 KJV

Fervent love forces us to slow down before we speak.
It asks, “Am I addressing this situation, or am I attacking the person?”

Over time, I have learned to be more selective and reflective in my words.
Instead of “You always ignore me,”
I have learned to say,
“I felt unheard in that moment.”

Instead of “You never help,”
I have learned to say,
“I need more support right now.”

One escalates.
The other invites conversation.

And by extending patience and grace, I have witnessed something beautiful.

Walls lower.
Defenses soften.
Conversations deepen.
Understanding increases.

When love becomes the covering, growth becomes possible.

Patience does not mean silence.
Grace does not mean avoidance.
It means choosing words that build rather than bruise.

Because in marriage, tone can matter as much as truth.

When we replace exaggeration with honesty and accusation with reflection,
we protect the heart of the person we vowed to love.

Love covers.
Love protects dignity.
Love chooses language that nurtures connection.

And often, the shift in atmosphere begins with one decision:
I will guard my words.

 Prayer

Lord, teach us to speak with wisdom, especially in moments of tension. Guard our mouths from exaggeration and harshness. Help us choose words that heal rather than harm. Let love cover our marriage and shape our communication.
May our patience create safety and our grace create growth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.